Comments for Fever 2 Tell

Comment on Awesome! by betholshewsky

betholshewsky — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 02:05:26 +0000

You might want to check out the Amelia Bloomer Project blog on Word Press for information on the most recent nominations: http://ameliabloomer.wordpress.com/

Comment on Leave Jillian Alone by Ayelle

Ayelle — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 01:27:07 +0000

Adding that Harriet J has followed up on her adoption post on why adoption is still important (even though it sometimes gets all effed up): http://www.fugitivus.net/2010/04/28/another-thing-about-adoption/

Comment on Leave Jillian Alone by Ayelle

Ayelle — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 02:34:46 +0000

(Hmm. Everywhere I saw the quote *other* than here, it was “rescue something,” not “rescue someone.” That certainly contributed to my negative feeling about her attitudes towards adoption.)

Comment on Leave Jillian Alone by Ayelle

Ayelle — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 02:21:15 +0000

Hmm. In the (only) article I did read about her, a lot of people in comments *did* stick up for her, raising a lot of the same (excellent) points that you raised. I think a lot of your criticisms of what people are saying really hit the nail on the head and you did a really good job of articulating them. But I think there are some other things worth pointing out too. You’ve done such a good job defending her in the ways that she deserves defending, that I find myself feeling the need to point out some of the things that are still really problematic. Not to play devil’s advocate, because I hate it when people do that, but because I think there are some real problems with what she’s saying, too.

As Harriet J says, Adoption Sometimes Gets All Fucked Up. http://www.fugitivus.net/2010/04/20/adoption-sometimes-gets-all-fucked-up-101/ Adoption is not simple or easy. It is ALWAYS emotionally complicated; it’s expensive, and it can lead to heartbreak when people go into it without thinking, and the tragic news is that people go into it without thinking ALL THE TIME. Anyone who casually tosses off a comment like “more people should JUST ADOPT!”, which I see all the time, really needs to read that first. It may be a question of what we’re sensitive to; the comments casually condemning adoption jump out at you, while the ones casually lauding it, as if it were a simple easy thing, jump out at me.

Now, I don’t think anything in Harriet J’s essay would be big news to you, because you’ve been thinking about adoption for years and you know a HELL of a lot about it. But, would reading that essay be shocking to Jillian Michael? — I kind of thing it would; I admit that OK, I don’t really know, because all I have to go on is a vague quote, some media sources that I don’t trust in the least to portray her side of the story accurately… but that said, what little I do know doesn’t exactly give a good impression. She makes her living off of fat shaming! And the way she talks about adoption, the “rescuing” aspect and how good it would make HER feel, gives the impression, at least, that it’s all about the love and gratitude that the adopted child would feel toward HER, which seems exactly backwards. That seems like having a baby just so that it can love you and feel grateful towards you for having brought it into this world. Again, backwards. When you decide take on responsibility for another HUMAN BEING’S LIFE, it’s shouldn’t be about how much that human being is going to love and admire and be grateful to YOU.

I don’t know. I realize I’m sounding a lot more judgmental than I want to. And sheez, I am not anti-adoption, because omg that would be STUPID! The thing about adoption is that it is NECESSARY! There are a lot of children out there whose biological parents cannot or will not take care of them, and they need to be adopted by parents (with realistic expectations) who will love them and be a good family for them! It’s just the shallow rhetoric that so often goes along with adoption (or against it) that really disturbs me, because it so often seems to obscure the fact that it is about REAL HUMAN BEINGS who almost inevitably get hurt, because this is real life and it turns out that families are really damn complicated and emotional and this is just what happens.

Having a baby isn’t a simple or easy choice — and adopting isn’t a simple or easy choice. And it isn’t a heroic amazing thing that will make the world a better place that everybody will praise and be grateful for. Nor is it some terrible selfish thing that only happens because horror of horrors some poor unnatural woman couldn’t or wouldn’t have a biological child of her own.

So what I am is pro-human being, if that makes sense. Whether having a baby or adopting, any choice that involves taking on the responsibility for another human being’s life should ever be made lightly. And it’s nobody else’s right to shame or condemn that choice either way.

Comment on Leave Jillian Alone by fever2tell

fever2tell — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 02:04:42 +0000

Did she really use the word “thing” to refer to a child? I sat down and read the entire Woman’s Health article because I wanted to know what I was getting all upset over before I got all upset about it and I believe she used the word child. Maybe she used the word “thing” somewhere else? You are correct, you don’t go pick out a child like you would a puppy and the trend of celebrities doing so is truly disturbing. That and the woman returning her adopted child to Russia because he had emotional problems. You don’t return a kid like a defective toy.
I question whether avoiding becoming fat (if that’s the “wrecking” she’s speaking of, as I think we all know there are plenty of other ways for pregnancy to eff up your body besides just making you fat) is just mere vanity or maybe she’s accepting her own deep psychological issues and working within her comfort level with them? You chose to view your pregnancy as a miracle, and that is awesome. But I’m betting you had a pretty normal childhood and a decent body image before you got knocked up. It doesn’t sound like Jillian did. Maybe she’s accepting that perhaps she’ll never get over all of her issues but that doesn’t mean she can’t be a mom? If so, I think that’s less about vanity and more about knowing your own personal limitations and I actually think that’s kind of cool.
You know, Jillian Michaels said a lot of potentially controversial things in that piece, including coming out as bisexual. I’m wondering why the adoption comment is what everybody is focused on?

Comment on Leave Jillian Alone by Shelley

Shelley — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 01:55:15 +0000

Right effin’ on. There are plenty of babies in this world already in need of parents, and as long as she’s willing to love those kids as her own (which they will be), I don’t really care why she decided to adopt in the first place. Parents are the people who tuck you into bed at night and comfort you when you have nightmares and teach you to read and tie your shoelaces, whether they’ve ejaculated at the right time of the month/squeezed you out of a birth canal or not.

Comment on Leave Jillian Alone by Kami

Kami — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 01:48:53 +0000

Nice work, lady! I think Jillian is great, whether she births her own seed or not. Everyone should mind their own damn business, you know? From what I read, people were disturbed by her use of the words “rescue” and “thing” to describe her feelings around adopting a child. I get it. Kids aren’t dogs. You don’t run out to the nearest Humane Society to pick one up to save. (though I believe that Brad and Angie did do exactly that…).My issue is more with the vanity piece. I chose to get pregnant as a means to an end, not because I wanted to be a fat fuck for 9 months. I prefer to think of my pregnancy as something beautiful and miraculous. Not an unfortunate event that resulted in the gaining of 45 pounds. But, that’s just me.

Comment on 20 For My 20s by Bailey

Bailey — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 14:20:16 +0000

I stumbled across your blog while looking up articles about Joe Meno for my class. I got to reading some of the blog posts and this one has got to be my favorite! I reblogged the list on my blog, hellomynameisbailey.blogspot.com so…yeah =]

Have a wonderful day!

Comment on Oh No! I Forgot To Get Married and Have Kids! by Tookl

Tookl — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 04:02:10 +0000

Also, I should say that Ms. Gottlieb suggesting that women marry a man who repulses her, is tantamount to recommending prostitution. If you don’t enjoy sex with the person, if sex is going to be in the marriage, why would you marry him?

Comment on Oh No! I Forgot To Get Married and Have Kids! by Tookl

Tookl — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 03:58:58 +0000

It’s a cultural thing. In Ms. Gottlieb’s culture it is necessary to be married. In mine it is not.